HASHTAG: JUDGING HASHTAG: SORRY HASHTAG: BIRDS OF A FEATHER? HASHTAG: HESJUSTNOTTHATINTOYOU

Ya know.........just call me Lo Lo...cause this will probably be the most ratchet post I write!

I am allllllll for girl empowerment and uplifting........but THAT AINT WHAT THIS IS ABOUT!

We've all asked ourselves at some point...several times over..What do I want from a man? What do I want out of life? And what can I do improve internally to ensure I feel equally yoked with ideal mate for a life of LOVE AND HAPPINESS? (DROP AL GREEN BEAT)

I HATE when hoes be like, I want a good man. Im over 30 and I've never been on a date. Im tired of being a booty call.....asking me if I know any good men....Then meet someone new and accepts WHATEVER they get.


Like literally met two guys the same night!
Im in the cut like oooooooohhh! We finna date friiiiiiieeeeeends!!
Hashtag: They Cute
Hashtag: We are too!
Hashtag: Southern Stuff I Like.
Hashtag: Educated
Hashtag: Gentlemen
Hashtag: DoubleDates
Hashtag: Gameday Cookouts
Hashtag: FINALLY!

Then you realize after a couple weeks or months of dating your guy...your friend aint done ANYTHING outside of the house with your guys friend. He don't call, only texts..most times days later. Only time dude is available is after 9 on Saturday nights every other weekend when he wants her to cook or bring him food. All homegirl is getting is an occasional WETT ASS!

Oh..Then Sunday comes....and boo wants to take you to brunch....Get there....and homegirls homeboy met us with another girl!!


WHAT AM I TO DO/SAY?.....

NOT A DAMMMMMMMMN THANG!!

Aint my place to have the "where is this going" convo with your dude....especially since Sunday night around 12 you getting up out the bed to go to his house.

What do yall do when you realize you have a DUMB friend?? Or when your friend says or does dumb shit?? Cause im biting SORES in my lips trying not to go off!

TELL ME SUMTHIN!!

~L

HOPE SHE LIKES TURKEY LEGS!

So the new boss's assistant starts today to get things together for his start Monday. I wear my conservative hair. Conservative dress. Touch of conservative makeup. Conservative kitten heels. STOCKINGS (and y'all know its hot here). Conservative pearls.



Office Manager brings her in my office to introduce her to me. I stand. Give a little tug on my dress to pull it down.....wrap dress falls OPEN!.....you know how you lean forward to do the professional handshake......yeah............................THAT just happened. LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



WHAT A WELCOME!



Morning Luvs!!!!

Have a great day!!!!!!!!!!!
~L

Perspectives

As you all know, I LOVE thought and conversation provoking topics. Lets dish!


This time last year I took the largest step of faith I'd ever taken in my entire life and headed for south for a New Beginning!! Although I haven’t been as faithful as I should've in documenting this experience, majority of you are kept abreast on relevant happenings. I've been welcomed by the girls, provoked by non-factors, pursued by a handful, and overall Grateful for it ALL!!!

Houston is truly a different beast! LOTS of good here. Lots of change from my norm. Lots more people and diversity. Quadruple the size of STL. Epitome of a progressive city!

So! I had a conversation with someone that....made me....feeeeel SUM type of way. Not in a bad way... (ok...so maybe at 1st...but I was truly out of my feelings in 2.5 seconds). The statement/convo made me THINK more than anything. NEED some insight on this!

Lady: Hey Ro, How's the job searching going? Still interviewing like crazy? Any permanent job offers yet?

Me: No. None yet. Still applying. Just glad Im working contract meanwhile. Thinking of moving on and expanding my search to other cities and states including home and praying on the situation more than anything. Wherever I’m hired is where I'll land.

Lady: NO!!! Ro you have great experience! You're a hard worker. You are smart as ever! Don’t leave! Houston is the PEREFECT PLACE for you to grow professionally! You can’t move and shake like that back in STL! You just need to lose some weight! I’m telling you! You'll take off!

(record player scratch)
(finger in chin)
(crack neck)
(diva in my head: Think before you speak Ro. THINK BEFORE YOU SPEAK)

I choked! LOL!
Me: Run that back! Did you just….say…..

Lady: Hear me out Ro. I’m your size too! You KNOW I’d never tell you nothing wrong. All Im saying is that you have to examine what’s what. You’re applying for jobs. Getting call backs. Going to the interviews. And then nothing! They want you! They want a person that has your background (schooling and work experience). You’re well spoken, sharp, and very personable…..The reason that you’re not getting the job HAS to do with what they’re seeing physically. I don’t like it! BUT I KNOW that people are more receptive to you if you are easy on the eyes! ESPECIALLY white people! They’ll take a mediocre cute black girl with half of your experience and nothing toward a degree over you. It is true! Lose some weight and sew you some long hair in. I bet they’ll take to you better! If for no other reason than that, I’ll never work in corporate. But you are great at what you do! And you deserve what Houston has to offer!

Yall!!! I ALMOST feel sorry for this woman! I’ve been plus size alllllllll of my life! At my smallest I was a 12! This convo made me even more grateful for the family and company that I keep. Never have I been told (or have I believed) that no matter how smart, accomplished, determined, and educated I am that I wouldn’t be successful unless I was smaller. Im very aware of the common MISconception that being overweight has a negative effect on your personal/dating life! But I aint never (clears throat) Not NEVER had a problem Getting, Satisfying, or Keeping a man! (just saying…getting off track. LOL)

-Do women…..mothers, also pass that advice to our daughters, friends, and female relatives?
-Would that statement be equivalent to telling a young black man that he’s limiting his potential by having facial hair, or any other haircut aside from a low fade?
-Should our daughters not pursue corporate America unless we lace their manes with “creamy crack” solely for professional acceptance?

If the goal and consensus is to not acknowledge and adhere to limits in pursuit of your goals and dreams. How would I RESPECTFULLY respond to a conversation like this? What IF I loss 100lbs, repeated the same strenuous interviewing process, and still didn’t get hired; what would the critique be then? Not to speak so assertively? To lower my standards? Not to look white men in the eyes so that they don’t feel threatened? Not to firmly shake hands? To wear a skirt suit so they know that I know my place? Bleach my skin so I’m a little lighter and more acceptable?

Am I TRIPPIN?...or is the issue not on my end? Am I a BIT conceited for not losing any stride in my step and thinking THEIR LOSS!? Should I spend half of the money I have after paying bills on a gym membership instead of a book to expand my knowledge base? Should I just take what I’m given and not what I’m worth because I’m not a size 6?

Sumbody tell me SUMTHIN!? HONESTY IS WELCOMED!!
Luv!
~L
(ps. I’ll post separately about a related convo I had with the girls here….twas interesting….)

But the way his LIE was set up.........

The V is for VERIFY !

So I met this charming southern gentleman, and found myself almost smitten. Even with all of the cuteness and such of a new relationship, there was still something that did not seem to fit. So I turned into an investigator/profiler and just waited for that other shoe to drop.

One night I decided to Google my sweetie and see what I found.....not too much. FYI, that's never a good sign. So I went a little deeper and did a back ground check.

Turns out he had a WHOLE LOT of reading material for me......most of which I already knew. What I did not expect was to find out that he was lying about his age.

Yes,I tend to date more *clears throat* mature men, but this is a gap of certain un-comfortableness.

 So I made a decision, to end the relationship. Given the chance I could have considered the age difference, but it really , I mean really burns my butt when someone lies to me. (Deep Breath)

So, he does not know I did the background check, yet has assured me he's not the type of guy to just give up. He wants to prove that we can be together....you all should see my eyes rolling.

I am planning to cut all ties, after all there is no need for a friendship with a liar.

My Dear sweet and honest Sister Friends, should I tell him I know he's lying about his age ? And give him a piece of mind on how I really feel about liars ?

How would you all handle the situation ?

K.A.L

LOVE a Man that can make me Laugh!?

Me, My Power Suit, My Pumps, and My Big Girl Panties have been on a MISSION!!! Seems like in a *SNAP* Everybody wanted me!

Insert ATT Commercial Girl
"Like...
We want more.
We want more.
Like....We REALLY Like it.
We want more."

In a 48hour period I got called for 4 Interviews!!! Monday I received 2 calls and scheduled them for Tuesday and Wednesday. On the treadmill Monday night got a call from an agency I interviewed with IN JANUARY wanting me to do a phone interview with a client based out of California in an HOUR....So...here's a glimpse into that week for me..... :-)

Monday:
Job1: Hi Lois, I got your resume, I'd love to bring you in....Tomorrow!
Job2: Hi Lois, I got your resume, I'd like to bring you in....Wednesday!
Job3: Hi Lois, I have a client I think you'd be perfect for! Can you call him when you’re done working out. He'll wait for you. GREAT
Job3: 8pm-Phone Interview: I think you’re great!!! Can I meet you tomorrow morning before I return to California? 9am? GREAT

Tuesday:
9AM-Job3 Interview--I love you...I’m gonna work on getting the position approved when I return and be in touch.
10:30AM-Job1 Interview--HATED IT (In Living Color Voice). Felt like I was in an 2hour argument. Hate Her. Don’t want the job anymore. Hated her shoes. HATED IT!!!!
11AM-Voicemail Job 3-He loves you. Wants to start working on the contract details once he's in California. Looks like you've got a permanent job! CONGRATULATIONS!!!


Wednesday:
9AM-Job2 Interview--You're awesome! Let’s get you in and get you out on assignment! You Rock!

Thursday:
Job4: Hi Lois, I have an assignment I think is perfect for you! It’s with a non-profit (AIDS FOUNDATION) about 5miles from your house. Can you interview with them today? They'd like for you to start immediately...
(COLOR ME EXCITED)
By the way....it’s only a 6week assignment.....
(COLOR ME PISSED....AND SKEPTIC)
Job4 Interview--WENT GREAT!!! Commute from my house was 8mins, Finance manager (Wayne) THEE Nicest old country sharp man, CFO (Wayne’s Boss SUPER NICE..Down to earth..bright...handsome...and a 29year old BLACK MAN!!!!His only boss is the CEO of the Foundation!!!!
*SNAP*!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Best interview thus far..and most faces looked like mine!!!......

Friday:
EMOTIONAL TO DAY TO SAY THE LEAST!!!


BLESS YOU if you're still reading and keeping up!!

After that week...I had a moment of clarity. Just had to stop and laugh!!I thank him for being able to see the growth in me! Before my last long term job....I had NOT-A-CLUE as to what was important to me in the workplace. I'd just go where the money is. Highest bidder got the girl! But not so much these days! With so much coming at me at once I had to really evaluate what’s important, forced me to factor in the things I needed in the workplace in the near future, and most importantly gave me strength to portray the asset that I'd be to the RIGHT company. The job that pays the most wasn’t doing what I'd like to do for the rest of my life and the company is not even close being small to mid-size. The job I think I'd LOVE pays the least and has the shortest term but has the most PURPOSE and the nicest atmosphere with positive people and didn’t offer much room for growth....and the "shiny" one with the biggest and best decorated office felt cold, stale, and felt competitive from jump!

I KNOW that I would’ve made a VERY different choice just a few years ago! And going through this is confirmation that I'm EXACTLY where I need to be....in prep for where I need to go!

Just wanted to let my luvs know that beyond the complaining and dominant feeling of complacency...I am just FINE friends!! I love and appreciate you all so much! I’m a working progress and I take a bit of each of you with every step I take!

Learning, Living, Loving!
-L

Hello....May I speak to Barbara?

Hey LadyLuvs! It’s been a while since we've dished! So let’s have at it!? Shall we? =)

I was talking to Anny the other night and in the middle of the conversation she gets an email...."Do you mess with a guy name Tee?"

Idk about yall....but I've been on the receiving end of THAT type of convo MUCH more often than I like! In true Lois fashion...I wait to respond depending on how Anny is going to respond(while my crunk juice level is rising on the inside)

She decides to send the following...."Hi, I'm not sure of the nature behind your email, but at one time I did date Tee. Woman to Woman, you do not need to have any concerns as it relates to my past association with him. I do hope that he has found happiness with you and the family that the two of you created. If you have any questions , feel free to ask and I will address them accordingly. Best Regards."

Me: THAT WAS REAAAALLLLLLY NICE!!....I’m Proud.Hmph....and there really is no need for a response...classy Anny...Really classy!

So we continue conversations and.....you guessed it! A few seconds later.....

SHES GOT MAIL!!!!

"Well..When did u date him? we been together for almost 5 yrs living with each other for 3 yrs. I don't understand he said he don't even know you!"

Me(on my friends behalf): BITCH!......It’s not my job to educate or inform you. Why the *BLEEP* are you reaching out to me.....how the *BLEEP* did you get my email....you obviously found something you went looking for and got your *BLEEP* feeling hurt....where the *BLEEP* is his ole light skin *BLEEP*.......this is part of the *BLEEP* reason I’m *BLEEP* single now!Dealing with his *BLEEP*!!!! *BLEEP**BLEEP**BLEEP**BLEEP**BLEEP**BLEEP**BLEEP*

Anny decides to call Tee.....and informs him that shes only calling because his chick has been emailing her.....hes a bit shocked and ends up asking for the emails

I advised Anny to send a final email to this chick and be done with it. She sends: "Honestly I rather not continue this exchange between the two of us. However if there is anything that you do not understand, you should be hearing from your significant other very soon. Be Well."

NOW LADIES......
MY question to you is, AM I RATCHETT? OR WAS ANNY WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYY TOO FUGGIN NICE!!!?????? I mean....I get that you dont have to pop off with the other woman b/c the issue lies within the middle man...But after I've reassured you politely...IF YOU FIND YOUR WAY BACK TO MY INBOX....IMMA GIVE YOU WHAT YOU'RE LOOKING FOR!!!!

HISTORY: Anny and Tee were together for a few years back in 2008...5YEARS AGO...during that time he even proposed....So not only have dealt with and dismissed this man within the 5years that yall were supposedly together....I've moved on. Reassured you that you have no reason to be concerned with our dealings. Wished you well on your future with him....I've also spared your feeling by not giving you the glory details on the last FEW times HE'S contacted and propositioned me WITHIN THE LAST YEAR.And I didnt respond hostile to a person whom I owe NO KIND of explanation....

I'll honestly admit that I would have responded MUCH differently......So woman to woman...How would you have replied!? And would you have sent him the emails???(b/c i wouldnt've...what he need them for?....)


-L

That One Sad Day

On Dec. 29th, 2012 I received one of the worse calls I have yet to receive to this day.

4:35 a.m. *phone rings from "Big Bruh" I listen and I hear him talking and his wife. I can't make out what's being said so I start yelling, "Mont! Mont! Mont!" Hoping he'd answer but nothing. Abt 2 mins later the phone drops and Lamont starts yelling and screaming and his wife picks it up and says, "Tina?" I respond, "huh". She says, "get up here now. Get up here now!" I respond, "I'm on my way. What's going on? Where yall at? She says, -"just get here. We're at St. Louis University hospital." I hang up and I throw on my clothes and rush down the steps. Immediately I say to myself, Lord is it my Daddy? As I'm running down the steps my mom wakes up and hears me and says, "who is that?" I say, "mama it's me. I gotta get to st louis university hospital. Mont just called I think something wrong with daddy." She jumps out of bed and says, "I'm going with you. Lord don't let it be." I want for her. We get in the car and head to the hospital. I'm shaking and wondering what is going on?? Don't let it be death Lord. Mama drive faster. I need to be there. (All the thoughts running through my mind)... we funny arrive, my mama grab my hand and we go in the hospital. I go to the emergency room's Secretary and say, "my brother just called Me and told me to come here. He and his wife?" She says, they're in the room behind you but I will call the Chaplin." My mom squeezes my hand, we turn to the door behind us and we go in to find, my brother, sister, and sister-in-law. They are all crying. The Chaplin comes in and says, "Is William Parker you're father?" My mom says, "Yes. She's his daughter and I'm her mother." He says, I'm sorry to tell you this but William passed away..." I immediately start crying..... Time passes, more ppl come. I go see my daddy and kiss him for the last time then I head out with my mom.

I told yall the whole story bc that's how it plays to me every single day. There has not been a day that I have not thought abt that early morning phone call and all that followed it. My Daddy was a sharp man. Smart, hardworking, cared for his kids and more, could dress his tail off (loved him a nice looking outfit straight out the cleaners), an awesome cook, giving, goofy, silly, funny, a party animal and more. He was also a drinker, a crack addict (I later learned), weak in physical strength bc of too many accidents, etc. BUT at the end of the day, he was my Daddy. Today I was awaken by a horrible dream that had my Daddy and I woke and had tears in My eyes. I couldn't believe I was crying in my sleep. I miss him so much. I was angry with him for so many years not knowing the demons he'd fought for some years I'm his life. Now all I wish for is a day to dance, laugh, sing, drink, and eat together. Daddy didn't have a lick of rhythm but you couldn't keep him of a dance floor. He could cook anything he wanted and make you fall in love with his food. He would pour you a drink and laugh and sing with you all night until he put you out his house. Lol... that was my Daddy. I'm still mourning the lost of him. I know there's a better day but right now I miss him.

Yall are my girls and I just wanted to share this with yall bc I don't have anyone else to share it with. I hate that Im not financially stable enough to do all I want to do with you all and bc of that I feel like I'm losing you too. Although I KNOW that I'm not. It just feels that way for now. But in the meantime I am working hard to put myself in a better situation so that I can bounce back, full fledge and Rock this boat better than before. I love yall and thank you for taking time to read my story.

Kelly

P.s. please excuse the misspelled word and such. I wrote this at 4:20 this a.m. when I was awaken by a horrible dream.